Week 0 Recap
On Friday’s Weekend Watch Guide, we told you there’d be some changes this year… Starting off, our goal is to send out a Weekend Recap. Think of this as a sort of Monday Morning Quarterback to help you get up to speed at the Water Cooler. Send us your feedback!
What an opening weekend for college football! We already had our first top 10 upset, multiple 4th quarter comebacks, and all four underdogs covered! Below is the best thing, worst thing, and craziest thing we saw during Week 0. Also, hope you’ll enjoy our “why the play the game” section that highlights incredibly bad takes that were proven wrong by the players on the field.
Best: Apparently the Swinging Gate is going to be the Owala water bottle (53k reviews!) of this season. Super complicated way to execute a basic function, but if you’re not using this outrageously complicated cool alternative to solve a basic problem then you’re way outta the loop. We had not one, not two, but three two-point conversions out of the swinging gate formation! Everytime you see it show up on your TV you perk up just like you did back in high school when your buddy busted out the latest copy of Maxim magazine. Then, they slip in some jet motion and, damn, it’s not just a Maxim but it’s a Jennifer Love Hewitt cover! You can guarantee every defensive coach is scrambling to put time into their practice plan this week to review how to match up against this sexy formation.
Worst: Listen, we told you guys to use this week to work out the kinks, so it’s only fair that we show that same grace to those around us. That’s why we’re giving a pass to this production crew who somehow chose the wrong end zone camera for this game tying field goal just before halftime. The only justification we can come up with is they got lost in a raging Netflix vs. Peacock documentary debate about Scott Peterson. I mean, he did it…right? At the very least, the dude comes off as a total psycho which is never ideal when trying to convince a jury of your peers that you didn’t kill your wife. But why didn’t the police just chase down the details of the burglary across the street and put all speculation to bed? Thank god we have football to distract us from starting the next Serial podcast.
Craziest: DELAWARE STATE COVERED! Why is that so crazy? Let’s break it down. So we’ve all heard ridiculous travel stories, and most of the time they turn people into infamous lunatics. Now, keep in mind these people are typically just leisurely traveling, not a D2 school preparing to play a D1 opponent on the complete other side of the country with the kickoff being scheduled for midnight local time. The full details can be found here but we’ll give you the TLDR. 3+ hour bus ride to NYC so they can get a direct flight, only to miss that flight because the bus was late. So now they have an overnight in NYC, their 10.5 hour direct flight just got broken into 3 legs, and they arrive more than 24 hours later than originally anticipated. Then, once they get there they have to avoid turning into Joey Gladstone and ignore all the distractions of Hawaii (quite possibly the only time in these players’ lives they’ll be there) to hopefully find a way to play a competitive football game. Mad props and really freaking crazy!
Why they play the game:
Hopefully you got to catch the awkwardness of College Gameday. FSU fans traveling all the way to Ireland just to boo Herbie and Saban in person after they (rightfully so) dismantled FSU’s chances at making the playoff during their undefeated season last year is exactly why we love college football. Of course, ESPN turned it into a FSU suckfest including this segment about their amazing defensive line. BEST STARTING D-LINE IN ALL OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL! Not in week zero, not in the ACC, the entire country! Unfortunately for them, they put up a weaker defensive performance than Scott Peterson’s legal team (again, how do you just dismiss all the details about the burglary that happened ACROSS THE STREET at the SAME TIME AS THE DISAPPEARANCE?) They gave up 5.3 yards per carry and 3 rushing scores while collecting 0 sacks and only 3 TFLs. Here’s to hoping these NFL scouts were never named and can avoid spending their Labor Day weekend scouring monster.com for their next gig.
Honorable Mentions:
- Montana State being +2500 in the 4th quarter and coming back to win
- Ga Tech not only getting the victory but also winning the, umm, jig off(?) with FSU in Ireland
- Kirk telling the country to watch out for SMU who needed a 4th quarter rally to survive Nevada
- Joe Tessitore and Jesse Palmer slamming Guinness pints in the booth during the telecast!