What a week we’ve had in college football! James Franklin claimed his spot in the world’s best fraternity, while Curt Cignetti leveraged the situation to take his first step in the same direction by locking in an insane fully guaranteed contract. Kickers has also stolen some of the spotlight with Iowa State almost bringing in this 4th string beast to handle kicking duties, meanwhile Hawaii’s kicker’s popularity is growing faster like the Fast & Furious series and we’re hitting the apex of Tokyo Drift (quite literally) as they are now televising his games in his home country. To wrap up, we had the geniuses at Cornell punting on 3rd down (do they know something we don’t?), the most hilarious bad beat we’ve seen in awhile, and a dude getting trapped by a goalpost that <checks notes> umm, goes down on its own? This week we have some fantastic matchups, buckle up for another solid week. Let’s hope YoutubeTV can offer us the right multiview options!
Week 8 Pro Tips:
- Ok, we busted Auburn’s balls for complaining about the officiating in the Oklahoma game, but after this week it appears Greg Sankey’s wife might have been on the escort list Hugh Freeze got busted with having in his phone back in the day. They played the longest 2 minutes of first half football we’ve ever seen, as plays kept getting reviewed and consistently went against them. Props to Coach Freeze for the heel turn in his interview leading into halftime. Hugh Freeze is one of the last people in the world that deserves anyone’s sympathy, yet it’s been so bad we’re really close. Keep an eye on it as we progress throughout the season.
- There are two ways to handle your team having a shitty season. Most of us like to fall into a darkness full of complaining about our coaches, trolling the fans of schools having success, and wading in our misery with the libations of a Saturday being the only thing keeping us afloat just enough to survive each week. So props to the fans in Stillwater finding hilarity in their misery. If Petey Pablo doesn’t come out at halftime of their homecoming game this week then that will cement their season’s epic failure.
- Texas Tech might be our favorite school in the country. They’ve emerged as the Beverly Hillbillies of college football, and Lubbock is the perfect backdrop for this story. We really need a Blue Mountain State remake based solely off their narrative, just imagine this scene. Billions of dollars funding a college football program with zero restrictions (well, except for this one) in a middle of nowhere wasteland that solely revolves around the football team. It’s Kardashians mashed up with MTV’s Two-A-Days. If we don’t finish this blog it’s because we’re on the phone with Netflix, peace!
TOS GAME OF THE WEEK
#5 Ole Miss @ #9 Georgia (-7.5) 2:30PM CDT, ABC
What we like about this game: Two highly talented programs led by complete ego maniacs who will do whatever it takes to get this W? Yes, please! While Georgia is laying low and leaning on the history they have in their favor between the hedges, Ole Miss is loose and loud, throwing jabs through the media. This is everything we want in a big college football game!
What we love about this game: We gotta give credit where credit is due. Not quite sure Will Compton is intellectually competent enough to come up with this on his own, but props to whatever nerdy producer fed it to him. Game recognize game and that’s a perfect summation of this battle between two dudes trying to take control of the galaxy, err, conference.
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