Holy moly, we’ve never set more bookmarks on Twitter than we did this week. It’s difficult to even begin to figure out where to start. We’re going to break it into categories, but we’re going to do it using the lyrics of the most popular song in college football right now.
You doing ho activities with ho tendencies
We assume our entire audience has already been overly consumed with Lane Kiffin, so we’re not going to go into too many details. If you missed it, here is the TL;DR. Lane actually hates dogs, his hot yoga obsession was just a schtick, Marty Smith almost died, and we’re going to have an epic game in Oxford next year.
Hos are your friends, hos are your enemies
A great week for non-game related entertainment that conveniently took place at the game. Brutus the Buckeye is a staple in the mascot game and he made sure to set the tone on Saturday. At Coastal Carolina, they continue to raise the bar on halftime entertainment, we had a Heisman candidate’s brother doing his best Jackson Mahomes impression which ended just like it should, and Western Kentucky doing their best to stay relevant by claiming ownership of the most popular celebration in football at the moment.
There’s hos on a mission and hoes on a crack pipe
The CFP always makes people look crazy, but we now have a Governor-off for who is going to try to gain the most red votes by pretending to care about their in-state football teams. Not to be out done, the biggest jackass of them all continues to unknowingly embarrass his constituents with his total lack of self-awareness. Maybe once Louisiana is done paying buyouts they can afford to hire a Press Secretary.
Hey ho how ya doing, where ya been?
Texas was well prepared to welcome their long lost rival to town on Saturday. They started by ripping the head off a dog and ended with not only featuring their rival’s fearless leader on the jumbotron but also inviting the entire visiting team’s press conference into their postgame celebration. They even let one of the A&M ball boys get up close and personal with Bevo.
Probably doing ho stuff cause there you ho again
Just when Jordon gets a week off, she finds a way to get back in the news. This time by creeping (legally, at least?) on some of the top staffers in her boyfriend’s organization. Vandy is looking like Screech Powers by pulling a fake tough guy move and claiming they’ll play anyone anywhere this week, even though they know there’s no way it’s possible. Dan Lanning was running his mouth, per usual, in a post game presser and received a hilarious gift in return.
Its a ho wide world, that we living in
We had tons of dominos fall in the coaching world. Tons of G5 guys getting their glow up at big schools, K-State quietly making the biggest move of anyone, and Penn State still, ummmm, who the hell knows what they’re doing. It sounds like they got close with BYU until someone came to the Cougars’ rescue allowing James Franklin to enjoy continuing to watch that program Crumbl.
Week 15 Pro Tips:
Everyone has a solution for how to fix the CFP, so in lieu of Pro Tips this week, we’re going to provide our fool-proof solution for all this nonsense about how premier non-conf games should be avoided and how unfair it is to leave everyone out. Hear us out, you’re going to love this!
First off, unfortunately, Brandon Walker is correct – to get this right we’re gonna just kinda forget about G5 teams a bit. There are some possible solutions to get some of their better teams in the mix later in the year, but for simplicity’s sake we’re not going to go over those.
Ok, now it’s really time to get down to business. Every conference gets the first 9 weeks of the season for all their teams to play 8 conference games. Yes, straight to conference games which means no early season cupcakes – get over it. Maybe teams could start coordinating preseason scrimmages or something, but none of that crap counts in this solution.
Next, at the end of week 9 each team will have played 8 conference games at whatever schedule their conferences set for them. The conference must use that data to rank their teams 1-16. If you have more than 16 teams then a. You’re stupid and b. You’re going to totally screw them because anyone after 16 is done for the year. This seeding can be done however the conference prefers – setup rules and tiebreakers (ask the ACC how that works out), a committee (this always seems to go well), the AD just picks his favorites and says he used AI (most likely scenario), whatever.
Finally, the good stuff. Starting with week 11, the postseason begins – kinda similar to how it does now with certain games in the middle of the season being unofficial elimination games (ex. Oklahoma @ Tennessee). Technically, yes, there is a 64 team bracket – don’t give up on us yet! – but it’s really just intended to provide quality non-conference games that actually mean something. Think of it as just a premier non-conference week. We took the liberty of seeding teams in each conference to illustrate the point and check out how fun this week would be! (Oh yeah, we also threw Notre Dame in the ACC)
| Arkansas @ Notre Dame | Mich St. @ Texas Tech | Oklahoma St. @ Ohio St. | Va. Tech @ Georgia |
| Minnesota @ Kansas St. | Missouri @ Cal | Clemson @ Tennessee | TCU @ Illinois |
| Miss St. @ SMU | Rutgers @ Houston | Kansas @ Southern Cal | Stanford @ Texas A&M |
| UCLA @ Arizona | South Carolina @ Pitt | Wake Forest @ Texas | UCF @ Michigan |
| Auburn @ Miami | Wisconsin @ Utah | West Virginia @ Oregon | Florida St. @ Ole Miss |
| N’western @ Arizona St. | Florida @ Ga. Tech | Louisville @ Oklahoma | Baylor @ Iowa |
| Cincinnati @ Duke | NC State @ Iowa St. | LSU @ Washington | UNC @ BYU |
| Kentucky @ Indiana | Penn St. @ Alabama | Colorado @ Virginia | Nebraska @ Vandy |
After week 11, we have eliminated 32 teams while also ensuring what’s left is still all non-conference matchups the following week when we eliminate 16 more teams. The results from week 13 will get us down to a quarterfinal of 8 teams still vying for a chance at the title and 56 that have been eliminated. Hold that thought on those 56, they aren’t done yet!
After Week 15, we have our national championship matchup set. Those 2 teams get a 2 week bye allowing time for all the awards ceremonies, media circus, those players to do something dumb and get in trouble, etc. Also, those first 56 teams that got eliminated early can play bowl games during this period so we still have games to lose money on while pretending to thank Aunt Edna for the new tie she got us for Christmas. The Natty takes place on the Saturday closest to New Years at the Rose Bowl every year.
Assuming G5 follows a similar model, here’s a 2026 breakdown of how the schedule plays out by week for both P4 and G5, essentially just staggered by a week, allowing for G5 to have two exclusive weeks of play and their championship becomes the undercard for the actual National Championship.
| Week | Power 4 | Group of 5 |
| 29-Aug (0) | BYE | Conf Week 1 |
| 5-Sep (1) | Conf Week 1 | Conf Week 2 |
| 12-Sep (2) | Conf Week 2 | Conf Week 3 |
| 19-Sep (3) | Conf Week 3 | Conf Week 4 |
| 26-Sep (4) | Conf Week 4 | Conf Week 5 |
| 3-Oct (5) | Conf Week 5 | Conf Week 6 |
| 10-Oct (6) | Conf Week 6 | Conf Week 7 |
| 17-Oct (7) | Conf Week 7 | Conf Week 8 |
| 24-Oct (8) | Conf Week 8 | Conf Week 9 |
| 31-Oct (9) | Conf Week 9 | BYE |
| 7-Nov (10) | BYE | Round 1 |
| 14-Nov (11) | Round 1 | Round 2 |
| 21-Nov (12) | Round 2 | Round 3 |
| 28-Nov (13) | Round 3 | Quarterfinals |
| 5-Dec (14) | Quarterfinals | Semi Finals |
| 12-Dec (15) | Semi Finals | Bowl Week 1 |
| 19-Dec (16) | Bowl Week 1 | Bowl Week 2 |
| 26-Dec (17) | Bowl Week 2 | Bowl Week 3 |
| 2-Jan (18) | Championship | Championship |
And just like that, our job here is done! Tons of marquee non-conference games, timing works perfectly with the calendar, and no one can complain about it being best vs. most deserving. Those that get bounced early, arguably the worst teams, get a jump start on recruiting while the top teams continue to duke it out on the field. G5 still gets some quality weeks of eye balls and gets to name a champion. It’s absolutely perfect!