Welcome back Weekend Watch Guide and Trip on Sports fans!
We’re back again this year to break down each week of the football season and bring you insights into the upcoming games. An objective of ours this season is to get to 1,000 Readers. We’d be incredibly grateful if you’d forward this email to your friends, co-workers, frat bros, the entire fantasy football league, enemies, and hell, even your Great Aunt Karen. If you’re new, subscribe here.
Like getting back to the golf course after a long layoff, there’s not much to look forward to this week – but that’s ok! Check out all you need to get ready for this weekend below:
Week 0 Pro Tips:
- This is week zero, it doesn’t even get a number of any substance, which means it’s basically free football, almost like a comp in Vegas. So if you win your bets you start the “actual” season with some extra coin in your pocket, and if you lose it’s like it never even happened. Sure, you don’t know much about these teams but neither do the books. Go big!
- Food and drink are important. Pick one base food (wings, pizza, nachos, etc.) and one alcohol (ideally, beer). I know we’re all excited to get the entire band back together, but you aren’t conditioned for this yet. Unless you want all that shit running through your bowels like Theo through Paulie, we suggest pacing yourself.
- This part sucks, but there’s no way around it. Use this week to go to all your TVs and make sure you’re logged into all the appropriate streaming services. Of course you don’t remember your password, no one does. The point is when you’re going through the 65 steps of resetting, verifying, codes, and captcha the worst thing you’re missing is Montana State at New Mexico. Get it done now, trust us.
TOS GAME OF THE WEEK
#10 Florida St. (-10.5) vs. Georgia Tech in Dublin, Ireland 11:00AM CDT
What we like about this game: If you learned anything about us last year, we drink up petty football drama like a freshman chi-o guzzling jungle juice at her first frat party. Fill it up again! It didn’t take long to fall into our first thirst trap, which is honestly still lingering from last year. Paul Finebaum, #1 asshat at ESPN but so good at it you have to respect it, is still going after FSU and their fans. It’s as though his diet consists of Metamucil fiber bars, iron tablets and Osceola’s soul – which, ironically, sounds like a killer multivitamin. I mean, at every chance he gets he just keeps going. No matter what happens in this game, Twitter fireworks are guaranteed afterwards.
What we love about this game: Do you remember Pro Tip #1 from up above? Good, because we have you covered. Surely you know by now we are never to be taken seriously when it comes to financial investing – unless we get hacked by sponsored by a crypto account then listen to everything we say. That being said, ALL THE SHARP MONEY IS ON GEORGIA TECH! Let’s get rich and play with house money the rest of the season.
We’ll be back Monday with as much of a recap as we can come up with for this slate of games that are about as sexy as a Sydney Sweeney HeyDude sponsorship….wait, that’s a thing?
PS The Weekend Watch Guide may slowly go through some transitions – not the Caitlyn Jenner kind – as we find the sweet spot to provide all you want and need to know. The goal is to avoid going towards a Britney buzz cut transition and more of Chris Pratt’s Guardians of the Galaxy. If you have feedback along the way – good or bad – please keep us in the loop!
